


when I need to get home, you are my guiding light

by liferuining_feels



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Actor!Zayn, Alternate Universe, Babysitting, Denial of Feelings, M/M, Marriage, Model!Zayn, Pining, established relationships - Freeform, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 03:29:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4206270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liferuining_feels/pseuds/liferuining_feels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn's been trying to catch a break as an actor ever since he moved to LA. And now it looks like he's being considered for what could be the biggest role he'll ever get.</p><p>There's just a couple of things he needs to take care of before he becomes Hollywood's next big star. He needs a clean slate, no secrets coming back to haunt him, nothing that could jeopardise his career. So there's only one thing he needs to do.</p><p>He needs a divorce from Niall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	when I need to get home, you are my guiding light

**Author's Note:**

> 1) This is my take on a Sweet Home Alabama AU
> 
> 2) When I first heard Ed Sheeran's "Photograph" I thought it fit perfectly for this fic.
> 
> 3) Title is a lyric from a Foy Vance song called "Guiding Light", and coincidentally, Ed Sheeran has this lyric tattooed on his arm. 
> 
> Check out his beautiful cover [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTgUEfpx5k4)

“Ladies and gentlemen, we will be arriving in London shortly. To those who are visiting England on a holiday, we hope you enjoy your stay. And to those of you who are returning, welcome home.”

_Home._

It’s been about two years since Zayn’s been back, the last time being a few days for Christmas that felt too short and had him wanting to come back the minute he left.

He couldn’t come home last year because his agency had a huge Christmas do and Simon, his agent, insisted that he stay because it was a great networking opportunity. He couldn’t miss the chance, and so he settled for posting his gifts to his family and calling them during the party in between moments when Simon wasn’t dragging him to meet people.

He doesn’t think he’ll have time to see them during this trip though. He’s finally making enough money to send his parents on a proper holiday, and they’ve just left on a long three-month trip visiting relatives and friends around Europe.

Besides, he’s only planning to spend a few days, provided everything goes well. But God, he knows it’s going to be difficult.

He rents a car from the airport, and can’t help but take a quick drive around London before setting off. He lived here for four years before moving to LA, and he misses the energy and vibe surrounding the city.

He finds his way to his old place, this dingy studio apartment that he could barely afford and was only able to pay the rent from random jobs he could get and some help from his dad.

He never actually wanted to be a model, but then Simon had spotted him and offered him an opportunity that was too good to refuse, especially when he told Zayn he could promise him a contract with Burberry. It didn’t happen immediately, but Zayn held onto Simon’s promise and worked odd jobs while taking whatever shoots that were offered.

It took about three months for Burberry to come calling, asking him to be a model during Fashion Week.

And the rest is history. He’s now the face of Louis Vuitton, Calvin Klein, Gucci and Valentino.

He moved to LA two years ago, and is now a regular on the Fashion Week catwalks.

Although recently, he’s been leaning towards acting. He had a role on a British drama called _East vs West_ about a year ago, temporarily moving back to London for a few months for filming. Eventhough he was only in it for a handful of episodes, critics praised him for his moving portrayal of a Muslim detective trying to earn some respect in his career. He was even touted as the next face to watch for in British television.

He’s gotten some offers since then, and done a few smaller roles but nothing permanent. Nothing that makes his heart race with a passionate fire the way _East vs West_ did.

He’s spent the past year auditioning for pilots and taking on small jobs on _CSI_ and _Grey’s Anatomy_ but he’s still waiting for his big break. Modelling’s been great, but he’s certain that acting is what he wants to do in the long term; though being a model definitely helps him pay the bills.

He’s been able to make a name for himself as one of the most sought after male models in the industry today, and it’s been years since he’s had to make do with living in a dingy flat or struggling to make ends meet. He’s successful enough that he can afford luxuries like paying for a holiday for his family, and being choosy in selecting jobs. Yeah, it’s been pretty good.

 _Almost_.

It’s a four hour drive from London to the sleepy town of Abbottsford and the closer he gets, the more anxious he becomes. It’s been six years since he last set foot in the place, six years since he last saw all the friends he grew up with, six years since he slammed the door on a pair of blue eyes pleading with him to stay.

It’s a memory that brings up a bitter taste in his mouth, and he tries to push it to the back of his mind and into the little box where he keeps all the memories that he hates to think about. If he goes down that road right now, it’s just going to mess up everything, and he needs to focus on not messing up what he’s here for.

Because at the end of the day, he’s over it. He left and that was that. If he didn’t leave, then he wouldn’t be this successful and his family wouldn’t be on a beach somewhere in Spain.

That’s what he keeps telling himself.

It’s close to six in the evening when he passes the familiar “Welcome to Sunny Abbottsford!” sign. It still gets a chuckle out of him, just like it did when he was a young boy returning back for the school year. Because Abbottsford is far from sunny, in fact they probably only get a couple weeks of it every year.

His parents sent him here when he was young to attend the prestigious Westcliffe Academy boarding school. He still remembers when his mum packed up his suitcase with his favourite Spiderman figurines and they drove the six hours it takes from Bradford to Abbottsford. A kiss on the head from his mum and a pat on the shoulder from his dad and they left him age 10 in a sleepy little town and away from everything he’s known.

Zayn gets wrapped up in the feeling of déjà vu as he drives through the town, amazed at how nothing much has changed. He can still spot the same familiar shops that used to be part of his old haunting grounds, remembers wandering these streets with the boys, echoes of their laughter ringing in his ears as he drives by and finds himself itching to get out and explore.

Instead, he makes his way straight to a hotel, hoping that the town is still quiet enough that there’ll be a room available for him without a booking. The person at the reception is a middle-aged man that he doesn’t recognise, so Zayn collects his keys with a relief that he didn’t bump into someone that he might know.

He’s so tired that the minute he settles in his room, he falls face down on the bed and conks out, choosing his sleep over a hot shower and food. After his long flight and gruelling drive, he’s aching for a good night’s sleep before having to deal with the reason why he’s here in the first place.

He doesn’t wake up until the next morning, feeling filthy and hungry at the same time.

He contemplates ordering room service while he’s having his shower, because suddenly with daylight streaming in through the hotel windows he doesn’t know if he’s up for walking around town at the risk of meeting someone that will no doubt ask him what he’s here for and all that. He wants to get out of this place as quickly as possible, and knowing the way this town can suck you in, he’d _really_ like to avoid that.

But then suddenly he’s craving for Sarah Watson’s chocolate croissants, the best he’s ever had in his life even though he’s tried the real thing in Paris multiple times. He wonders whether she still has her bakery over on Calgary Street, whether it still has the smell of freshly baked bread welcoming everyone who enters. It leads him to think about Caroline, Sarah’s daughter; what she’s doing with her life now, whether she decided to pursue her dream of being a fashion designer after all.

God, how he misses Caroline. Aside from the boys, she was one of his closest friends. He only got close to her in the last few years of high school, the two of them natural gravitating to each other after realising that they shared so many classes. It’s probably only because of Caroline that Zayn was able to pass most of his exams, she was the more serious student out of all of them and Zayn chuckles when he remembers how much she hated it when they used to call her Hermione.

She was one of the few people who knew about Simon’s offer, and the only one who told him that he should give it a shot. If it wasn’t for her support, he doesn’t think he would have gone through with it. A wave of guilt washes over him when he thinks about how he lost contact with her after he left. He wishes that he brought her along for the ride, considering the fact that he’s got a lot of contacts in the fashion industry now. But who knows, maybe she’s already made it big, maybe she didn’t need him anyway.

The more Zayn starts thinking about old friends and what they’re up to, the more the ache to see them settles in his bones. And he knows he can’t afford to feel like that right now.

He gets dressed, grabs everything he needs and heads out to get something to eat. There are quite a few new shops that have opened on the high street, so Zayn decides to just get some food from one of them, a cosy little café that smells like strong coffee and freshly baked bread when he enters.

He orders a chicken panini to go, and can’t resist a cup of coffee as well. Thankfully, he doesn’t recognise the girl standing behind the till, but he still counts the minutes until he can get back into the safety of his car.

It’s ridiculous how anxious he feels about bumping into a familiar face.

Just as the girl hands him a paper bag, he hears someone behind him let out a gasp and he knows, just _knows_ that it’s game over. He’s fucked.

“Zayn Malik? Is that you love?”

He turns to see an elderly lady with winter white hair, wrapped in a thick tweed coat and a wooden cane under her hand. Zayn plasters on a polite smile on his face, before stepping forward. After all, he didn’t lose his manners when he left this town.

“Mrs Potts! So good to see you. Still got a good memory on ya, can’t believe you recognised me.” He bends down to give his old Headmistress a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug.    

“I was always good with faces dear, and besides, it’s hard to forget yours isn’t it?” She says with a smirk, looking at him over her frameless glasses.

Zayn shakes his head fondly, but he’s still a little surprised at how frail she feels. She was always known for looking young despite her age, though she must be well into her 70s now and it looks like time is catching up to her.

“How are you?” Zayn asks.

“I’m fine, dear. Just an old lady now. Did you just get here? Oh, I was hoping you’d come.” She takes his hand and squeezes it gently, and Zayn can’t help the genuine smile on his face.

“Are you here to see Niall, dear?” She doesn’t wait for his answer thankfully, before continuing. “I think he should be in the pub right now.”

She slowly turns to the man standing to the side of the door, who Zayn vaguely remembers as her husband. “George, is Niall still in the pub?”

“No love, I think he’s left for the day.”

“Oh, then he’ll be at home, Zayn.” She pats his cheek once and gives him another toothy smile. “I’ll see you at the wedding then, love.”

Zayn tries not to let confusion wash over his face when he hears the word wedding, and quickly says his goodbyes and walks back to his car.  He barely touches his panini as he sits in the car and replays the conversation in his head.

The pub. For some reason Zayn’s not surprised that Niall’s still working there. He’s only a little …disappointed.

And Mrs Potts spoke of a wedding…as if he was supposed to know about it? It boggles his mind and he sits in silence for longer than necessary before he realises that he’s just stalling for time.

He doesn’t let his thoughts linger for long, focussing back to the matter on hand. The quicker he gets it done, the quicker he gets out of this place.

It’s only a short 10 minute drive away until he reaches the place that he spent two years in before he decided to leave for London. He takes a deep breath as he parks outside, and looks out to the familiar little cottage that he once called home.

It still looks the same. There’s still that bright green shamrock wind chime hanging above the steps that Niall had gotten from the airport during a trip back to Ireland. The old swing that they bought from the Smiths’ garage sale is still sitting in the corner, with an unfamiliar coat of paint that looks faded by age.

There are so many memories here, most of them good from the two years that he spent here. So much love and so much laughter.

He wonders what lies inside now.

~

Two months ago, Simon – Zayn’s agent – sat him down with the promise of exciting news.

“I’ve heard a rumour, and if it’s true, I think you’d be really happy.”

Zayn raises his eyebrows curiously. “What kind of rumour?”

“They’re planning to do a remake of the Amazing Spiderman. Apparently there’s a pretty popular demand among the fan base that they want the character to be played by someone who’s…” Simon smirks, “Let’s just say they don’t want a white boy playing the part.”

“And?” Zayn’s heart thuds in his chest and it’s a struggle to keep the hope and excitement out of his voice.

Simon crosses his hands on the table in front of him and smiles in understanding. “Your name’s being thrown around as a possible favourite.”

Zayn feels like the air’s just been sucked out of his lungs. It’s been a long two years since he first moved to LA, and he’s always wondered whether making the transition from being a model to becoming an actor was going to be worth it, and now listening to those words coming out of Simon’s mouth…it feels surreal.

He can’t help feeling like… _this could be it._

“Look Zayn, it’s just talk at this point. They’re still trying to find a director and writer, so we’re probably looking at four to five months before they even start talking about actors.” Simon says, “But I’ve got a good feeling about this. The second season of _East vs West_ is going to be out here soon and you were absolutely amazing in that role. It’s really going to turn some heads here.”

Zayn still sits speechless.

“If this happens, you’ll be the hottest thing in Hollywood, I know it. But I need you to do one thing.” Simon gives him an encouraging smile, but then his face turns serious. “You’ve got to clear out the skeletons in your closet.”

Zayn feels his heart slow down and thump loudly in his chest.

The thing is they’ve never talked about it, but Simon’s the kind of guy that knows everything about his clients without being told. And from the way his eyes are piercing into Zayn, he knows exactly what kind of skeletons Zayn has.

He takes a deep breath, then regains his composure.  “Yeah, Simon, don’t worry about it.”

His voice is strong and steady and hopefully reassuring, but Simon still looks at him over his glasses with a steadfast glare for a few moments before he turns his attention back to his computer.

“Like I said, there won’t be any serious talks for another four months. That’s how long I’m giving you. I’m not taking up any more gigs for you in the meantime. Go home, or disappear, do whatever you have to do, I don’t care. Just come back and tell me you’ve dealt with it. Okay?”

Zayn doesn’t say anything, his mind already trying to figure out what he’s supposed to do and how and-

“Zayn?” Simon’s looking at him, that serious look on his face again.

“Won’t be a problem, Simon.”

And that’s what’s brought Zayn back here.

He needs to get a divorce from Niall.

~

Zayn gets out of the car cautiously. He hasn’t seen Niall since he left, and everything about their relationship is stuffed into a box and hiding in the corner of his closet in his apartment in LA.

He’s greeted by the sound of barking coming from the side of the house and after a moment, a familiar grey-black dog comes running down the stairs from the porch.

“Hatchi?” Zayn stands in his spot, surprised at the sight before him. He didn’t think that Niall would have kept the American Staffordshire terrier after he left since technically it was Zayn’s dog. He still remembers the day he passed by the shelter and found Hatchi looking out the window, his face immediately turning into joy when Zayn stopped to check him out.

Niall didn’t like the idea, thought they were better off with a smaller dog, but eventually Zayn got his way and brought Hatchi home. He loved that dog so much, and there have been so many times when he wishes he brought the dog along with him to London.

There’s a lot of things he wishes he did differently.

He honestly thought that Niall would have given Hatchi away. It’s amazing how the dog still looks the same as when Zayn last saw him, albeit a little more bigger. He used to prefer Zayn, maybe because Niall was indifferent to him from the beginning and only tolerated the dog for Zayn’s sake. But now he’s barking nonstop as Zayn strides up to the house.

He stops when he’s a few steps away, worried by how unwelcoming Hatchi is, who’s still barking as loud as he can.

“Don’t worry about it, he’s all bark and no bite.”

Zayn feels his heart clench tightly when he hears a familiar rough Irish voice call out as he watches Niall step out of the house.

His mouth goes dry as he sees the boy that he loved when he was 14 crosses the porch and comes into the light.

Just like this house, just like this town, Niall Horan doesn’t look any different than the last time Zayn saw him. His short hair is still bleached blonde, though it doesn’t spread throughout his full head as it used to. He’s got a mug in his hand, and Zayn would bet all his savings that inside it would be Lyon’s tea specially imported from Ireland.

It does look like he’s been spending more time in the gym, from the way his biceps are straining against the black shirt that he’s wearing with worn out blue jeans.

A Guns n Roses black shirt.

That fucking black shirt that used to belong to _Zayn._ The one he used to wear to sleep on hot nights, because it was so worn out it was thin as paper, the one Niall used to steal from him and wear all the time.

Zayn shakes his head bitterly, tries to swallow down the bile that’s rising up in his throat. His palms are getting sweaty and if he grips the papers in his hand any tighter he’d have to get another set for Niall to sign.

Right. He’s here for Niall to sign their _divorce_ papers.

It takes about half a minute for Niall to realise who he is. Zayn knows he definitely looks different, since the last time he was here his hair was long enough to tie into a bun. He’s only recently shaved it all off into a buzzcut, and it’s the most drastic thing he’s ever done to his hair.

Niall’s not the only one who’s been hitting the gym, and even Zayn can proudly show off that he’s not the scrawny boy that he used to be.

Zayn watches as Niall’s eyes blow wide and the way his fingers grip the handle of his mug a little tighter.

“You’re shitting me.”

Zayn rolls his eyes at Niall’s enthusiastic greeting, but he finds the words stuck in his mouth when he goes to reply.

Does he just say a casual hello? Or does he go on the defensive? Or try to act a little friendly? Should he start by breaking the ice and asking what he’s been up to over the last couple of years?

It sounds ridiculous in his head and in the end he just settles for a simple “Niall”, and a slight nod.

Niall just stares at him, as if wondering whether Zayn’s about to disappear at any moment. When he doesn’t, he fixes him with a hard look, and it chills him to the bone the way Niall looks so unforgiving and tense. “Well, what brings you back into town after leaving 6 years ago, Malik?”

Zayn flinches at the bitter tone curling around the way Niall says his last name.

“Look Niall, I’m not planning to stay for long. I just need you to sign these papers.”

“What papers?”

“Divorce papers.”

Zayn fights to keep his voice as steady as he can, but there’s still a part of him that feels like it’s being ripped away.

Niall doesn’t say anything, his lips pursed in a thin line as he stares at Zayn. The silence between them stretches, until Hatchi starts barking again, obviously aware to the tension that’s stewing between them.

“Shoulda’ known you’d only come back for somethin’” Niall says, and Zayn knows he means to say it sarcastically. So why can he hear the hurt in his voice?

Zayn sighs, looking down at the papers. “Well it was the only way to get you to sign them, considering you’ve ignored my attempts before this.”

Zayn holds them out to Niall, who just stares at him for a minute before he slowly reaches forward and takes it. He flips through the pages quickly before throwing them onto the wicker chair in the corner.

“I’ve got to get my lawyer to look through it first.”

Zayn has to clench his fists as he feels a burning hot anger rising up his chest. “What the fuck for? Just sign the damned papers Niall!”

Niall folds his hands in front of his chest and fixes the most arrogant smirk on his face. “I’ve got to look after my best interests haven’t I?”

Zayn struggles to keep his anger in check, because he knows it’s exactly what Niall’s trying to do, to rile him up. “What do you want from me Niall? The pub not paying you enough? Want to see if you can get money from me or summat?”

He regrets it the minute the words leave his mouth, but he’s beyond furious and desperate to wipe the smug smile off Niall’s face. It works, because he can see the way Niall’s eyes narrow and his jaw clenches shut, the way it always gets when he gets mad.

“Look here Zayn, you think it’s perfectly alright for you to waltz in here and just demand things? I’m sorry mate, maybe that’s how it works in your posh world, but not here. I’m not surprised that you’ve forgotten.”

“Posh world? The fuck are you talking about Niall?”

They keep arguing, throwing out things at each other that probably don’t make sense. But they’re both upset and all Zayn knows is that he’s shouting and Niall’s shouting and the dog is barking on top of the two of their voices and it’s getting so annoying that –

“Shut up, Hatchi!” Zayn shouts, just at the same time as Niall –

But –

“Shut up, Harley!”

Pain flashes through Niall’s face for a second before it’s replaced by a blank look that Zayn can’t read. And suddenly, he hates that he doesn’t know what Niall’s thinking.

“What happened to Hatchi?”

“He died.” Niall’s blue eyes turn cold as he turns to look at him, “After you left.”

His heart drops, and he stares at the dog sitting in front of him and now…now that he’s a little bit closer, he can notice the little differences, notices how it’s _not_ Hatchi. How he looks young and strong, when Hatchi was always a little scrawny. He remembers how the vet only gave him a few years to live anyway, since he was an old dog when Zayn first found him at the shelter.

His heart _aches_ , and he hates, _hates_ …that he wasn’t around.

“I don’t care what deadline you’re on Zayn, I’ll sign the papers after my lawyer has a look at it.”

With that, Niall turns on his heel and walks back up the stairs, leaving Zayn standing outside, still reeling from the sudden knowledge of his loss.

“Zayn –“ Niall surprises him with a softer tone, and a sad smile on his face. “There’s a lot of people who’ve missed you. It might do you good if you stayed long enough to catch up with them.”

He disappears into the house, and Zayn tries to resist the urge to follow him inside.

~

The first time that Zayn meets Niall is during his third week at Westcliffe Academy. He’s sitting in his History class waiting for the teacher when this short round boy with messy blonde hair and rosy cheeks walks in with his pants hung low and school tie loose around his neck and drops his body into the chair next to Zayn. He lets out a loud groan and buries his head in his hands on the table.

“Fuckin’ hate mornings.”

His Irish brogue sounds rough and thick in his sleepy voice and for some reason it’s the funniest thing that Zayn’s heard all morning considering he _feels_ the way this boy _looks_ and can’t help let out a quiet chuckle.

The boy turns his head to peer at the source of the noise, and blue eyes crystal clear like the sky blow wide as he looks up immediately, as if unaware of Zayn’s presence before he took his seat.

He furrows his brow for a minute in confusion, and Zayn cringes under his gaze, can feel the way he’s being judged and quickly looks away.

“Hi! I’m Niall.” Zayn is surprised when he hears that Irish drawl again, and when he turns his head, he’s taken aback by crooked teeth and a genuine smile on the boy’s face.

“Hi, I’m Zayn.”

They stare at each other for a minute, Niall smiling goofily at him while Zayn gives him an awkward grin, but then their teacher comes in and Zayn’s attention is drawn back to the front of the class. Mr Roche asks Niall to introduce himself since he’s new in class, and Zayn hears about how he’s left Ireland to come study at Westcliffe because his parents thought it’d do him good. He jokes easily with the class while he tells everyone how he loves football and hopes that England has some decent tea and sausages. He sounds confident, and completely comfortable, but Zayn can see the way his fingers are clenched in a fist at his sides and the way he keeps letting go to rub his hands on his pants.

Niall gets called to stay behind to discuss what he’s missed so far with Mr Roche, so that’s the last that Zayn sees him for the rest of the day, though the blonde does cross his mind more than once.

He doesn’t see Niall again since it’s the weekend, until he’s heading to the mess hall to meet Louis for a quick breakfast before classes start on Monday when he sees Niall sitting at their table.

He’s talking to Louis and they’re laughing together like they’re best friends, and as Zayn slowly walks up to them, he wonders if he’s somehow slipped into some sort of alternate reality.

“Ah, mate! ‘Bout time you got here. You were gonna miss out on the eggs if you came later. Did ya oversleep again?” Louis says when Zayn gets close enough.

He shrugs his shoulders, but his eyes are still stuck on Niall, who’s staring back at him with a cheeky smile on his face.

“By the way, this is-“

“Niall.” Zayn supplies, feeling the blush creeping to his cheeks. He’d answered that a little _too_ eagerly.

“And you’re Zayn.” Niall adds, flashing that blinding crooked smile that’s got Zayn’s heart beating a little faster.

Louis looks between Zayn and Niall, his face obvious with curiosity, but surprisingly he doesn’t say anything more. “Well, that’s settled then.”

And that’s how it all started.

~

Zayn’s back in his hotel room, lying on the bed staring up at the ceiling as he thinks about the early days at Westcliffe Academy.

He gets off the bed and rummages through his trusty travel backpack, sticking his hand in until he touches the bottom and his fingers find what he’s looking. He takes out his old Nokia, the kind that was popular decades ago, when he was back in high school and it was the coolest phone to have, the kind of phone that could survive a couple of falls to the ground without getting any scratches.

He’s upgraded to an iPhone now of course, but he still keeps this phone close for sentimental reasons. It works just as well as it did ten years ago, and he always keeps it charged, though he only ever switches it on once in a blue moon.

He opens up the latest text message that was sent to him about five years ago, though he knows it by heart already.

_ill join u soon babe, wait for me ! I love you more than anything baby !! xxx_

It’s a message that once filled him up with hope.

He waited, waited for a long time. He waited until he realised he was a fool for waiting for someone who was never coming.

He stares at the screen, eyes going over the words that he memorised all that time ago. He used to have questions, used to wonder what happened, why Niall never came. But he’s learnt to accept that some things just don’t work out no matter how much you want them to.

The first time Zayn sent the divorce papers to Niall was about a year after he left, tired of waiting for him and too stubborn to go looking for him. He got them back two months later unsigned.

The second time he sent the papers was just before he left to LA. This time he never got them back.

He hopes that this time he’ll be third time lucky.

No. He’ll _make sure_ he gets the papers signed this time.

~

He’s just finished his shower and is wondering where to get some dinner when there’s a knock on his door that surprises him out of his thoughts. He opens it warily, peering through the gap because he’s unsure of who it could be considering no one really knows he’s around.

(Though there’s a part of him that hopes that it’s a certain blonde-haired boy, but that’s just wishful thinking.)

“Well fuck me, it really is you!”

Louis Tomlinson, Zayn’s _best_ friend throughout his years of high school is standing in front of him with a shit eating grin.

“You going to let me in then?”

Louis doesn’t wait for his reply, instead he pushes his way in which doesn’t really surprise Zayn.

“How’d you - ?” Zayn asks as he turns to find Louis standing in the middle of the room.

Louis laughs, loud and snarky and just the way Zayn remembers. “Mate, it’s still a small town. News travels fast.”

“I thought…aren’t you in Manchester now?”

Louis flashes him a wide grin, eyes twinkling with mischief and enthusiasm the way it always has been.

“Well Zayn, looks like we’ve got a lot to catch up on.”

~

Zayn was always a quiet boy. He was never really good at making friends, and it was worse when he started at Westcliffe where he knew absolutely nobody.

The first few weeks were insufferable, most days ending with him running to the school office and begging the secretary to let him call his mum. Most days she’d look at him sternly and shake her head before ignoring him, but she wasn’t made of stone, and on some days she’d let him come and sit on her lap while she held the phone to his ear and listened to him cry to his mum about how he hated it there and didn’t have any friends.

Which is why she probably introduced Louis into his life.

One day when he’d come into the office to call his mum, the secretary just led him out by the elbow and towards the library and asked him to sit his butt down opposite a scraggly looking boy with tousled hair and a smile that was too mischievous for his liking.

Who would have thought that they’d get along like a house on fire?

Louis suggests that they catch up over dinner, though to be honest he doesn’t really give Zayn a chance to say no. So Zayn has a quick shower and changes into some decent clothes and the next thing he knows, he’s getting into Louis’s car.

“The place has changed like. They’ve really done it up, yeah?” Zayn asks, trying to make conversation and hopes that Louis doesn’t realise how awkward he feels. They’ve barely been back in each other’s company for 10 minutes.

“Yeah. Loads more shops now. Even got the proper ones like Primark, H&M and Boots and stuff.”

“Are ya serious?”

“Yeah, you know the old fish market that was just sitting there abandoned? They did a huge renovation and opened it up for sale by lots. I think ‘cause Abbottsford is the only proper town nearby for a lot of the other villages, so they figured they’d cash in on it.”

Zayn can see it now, as they drive past all these shops that weren’t there before and look a lot more trendy and modern. It looks a little bit like Notting Hill, and he realises that it doesn’t really feel like a sleepy little town anymore.

Zayn doesn’t ask where Lou’s bringing him, figures that they’d go somewhere near, but then he watches as they drive through Abbottsford and out of the town.

“Thought we’d head to Ardenvale for some dinner.” Louis says after a while.

He gives a reassuring smile, like he knows that Zayn’s not in the mood to bump into any other familiar faces just yet, hence why they’re going 40 minutes away just to grab a bite to eat.  It’s reassuring to know that Louis can still read Zayn well after all these years.

“Watched you on telly.” Louis tells him with a proud grin on his face. “You absolutely smashed it, mate!”

Zayn can’t help the warmth flooding his cheeks, feeling the blush relieving a bit of tension in his body. “Thanks, Lou.”

“What about you then?” Zayn asks.

Louis’s eyes twinkle as he looks at the road ahead.

“Well, I’m living back in Manchester, working as a sports reporter.” He turns to Zayn, winking at him.

“Lou, that’s awesome!”

Zayn always knew that whatever Louis ended up doing, it had to do with sports. He was their college’s star football player, and if Lou really wanted to, he’d probably be playing for his beloved Doncaster Rovers.

“Yeah, it is. Been doing it for a while now, and it’s great. I get to watch football for a living and tell people my useless opinions.”

Zayn smiles, because if there’s one thing about Louis, it’s that he definitely doesn’t have any useless opinions. He wonders how many people Lou’s already pissed off with his comments.

They spend the rest of the drive talking about what they’ve been up to since high school. It’s nice, Zayn thinks randomly during one of Lou’s stories, it feels good to share everything that he’s experienced in the last couple of years. He’s never pretended to not miss Louis, and there’s always a part of him that regrets not keeping in touch with him. It wasn’t fair to Louis.

By the time they reach the restaurant, it’s like no time’s passed between the two friends and there isn’t a trace of awkwardness left in Zayn’s body.

“So like, what are you doing here then?” Manchester is four hours away and Zayn wonders whether Louis made the trip down to Abbottsford just to see him.

“Well, I’m gonna be here for a bit.” Zayn looks at him confused, unsure what to think of it.

Louis takes a deep breath, looking nervous and excited at the same time. “I’m getting married.”

Zayn’s thankful that he’s already swallowed that sip of water that he just took, because he’s pretty sure he would have sprayed it all over Louis’s face by now.

“You’re joking!”

Louis chuckles as his fingers fiddle with his napkin. “No, I’m not mate. Her name’s Elle, we met in uni. You’d like her, she’s the only one feisty enough to handle me.”

Zayn chuckles thinking about one of the running jokes that they had when they were younger. That Louis would only ever settle down with someone who’d be able to tame him.

“We’re getting married in Abbottsford. In about…Jesus, I think it’s 5 weeks away now.”

There’s a softness around his eyes and a look of pure affection on his face as Louis tells Zayn about his fiancé, from how they’d met all the way through to his proposal.

There’s a little voice popping up in Zayn’s mind that points out how he missed out on sharing these great moments with his best friend. But he quickly shakes it off, because from the way Louis looks so content with his life, Zayn feels genuinely happy for him.

“I’m really happy for you, mate.”

“Thanks, mate. I’m really happy for myself too.”

They spend the rest of the dinner having an easy conversation and catching up on what seems like an endless list of things that has happened in their lives.

Of course, they steer clear of the Niall-shaped elephant in the room, instead sticking to general things like how Louis hates his colleague Nick Grimshaw and all the things he needs to do before the wedding.

It’s perfect, and Zayn finally feels a sense of calm wash over him for the first time in months.

~

“You know, you’re not the only one who left.”

They’re on their way back to Abbottsford when Louis breaks the silence after they’ve been driving on country roads for 20 minutes.

“Harry was in London, left some time after you did. He was in uni up there.”

Zayn’s only a little surprised about that. Harry had always been the kind of person who found joy in anything that he did, and he was well known for getting bored with things easily which is why none of them thought he’d stay in one place for long.

“And then he came back?”

Louis nods, and Zayn feels like there’s a story there and waits for him to continue but he doesn’t.

They’ve reached his hotel, but Louis keeps the car in park and Zayn doesn’t make any move to leave.

“After you left we all kind of…went our own way. Harry was in London, I went to Manchester for university and Niall…he was still here.” He’s tapping on the steering wheel, a silent beat that feels familiar. “And things just weren’t the same, you know?”

“I mean, it was great, but…we were really spoiled here weren’t we?” Louis says and Zayn knows exactly what he means. He remembers how they would walk into the bakery and come out with more than what they ordered because Mrs Watson would always sneak in extra buns and scones into their bags. How the pub would even give them a round of pints once they were old enough but still not legal simply based on trust, something they always made sure never to take advantage of.

“I hardly kept in touch with Harry and Niall that first two years in uni, only exchanged the occasional text every couple of months. I met Elle, which was great, but it still felt like a huge part was missing you know?” Louis continues. “It’s just…how did we go from sharing every day of our lives with each other to nothing at all?”

Zayn nods absently as he stares out the window, remembering all those nights he couldn’t sleep because he was so scared of failing, of wondering whether it was worth it, whether there’d be a pair of open arms welcoming him back.

He’s persevered through it in the end, but there’s still an ache in his heart that never seems to go away.

“I wanted to get married in Abbottsford because…let’s face it Zayn, we had the best years of our lives here. This is...“ Louis pauses, waving his arms in some sort of gesture while he tries to find the right word.

“Home.” Zayn finishes for him.

Louis turns to meet Zayn’s gaze, a soft smile stretching his lips. He reaches over to open the glove box and pulls out a beautiful cream-coloured envelope and hands it to Zayn.

In elegant handwriting, it’s addressed to _Zayn Malik._

“Which is why it’d really mean a lot to me mate, if you could stay for the wedding.” Louis says unsurely.

“I’ve had it ever since we got the cards printed out. Wasn’t sure where to send it to.” He says sadly, but then quickly chuckles. “Why can’t you be like one of those narcissistic celebs that are all over social media? Though I’m happy I didn’t have to resort to tweeting you a hundred times to get your attention.”

“Lou –“ Zayn swallows, and knows the next thing he says is a long time coming. “I’m sorry.”

“Look Zayn, I’m the last person who’s going to judge you alright? You had to do what you had to do. I’m just fucking happy to see you again. You’re still my best mate, no matter what happened.”

Zayn reaches over and wraps his arms around Louis’s shoulders, pulling him in to a tight hug. “I’ve never stopped thinking of you as my best mate, y’know.”

Louis pulls back, hand gripping Zayn’s shoulder. “So that’s a yes? You’ll stay for the wedding?”

Sitting across from his best friend of 15 years that he hasn’t seen in six years, Zayn can already start to feel the empty space in his heart slowly start to fill.

“Of course, Lou. Anything for you.”

~

Initially, Zayn thought that he’d head back to London. He decided that he’d give Niall all the time he needs, but when he comes back to Abbottsford for Lou’s wedding, he wants those papers signed and ready.

But what he didn’t realise was that when Louis invited him to the wedding, he was also asking Zayn to be one of his _groomsmen_.

It was a touching gesture, and one that Zayn happily accepted, but because he’s technically “jobless” (in Lou’s words), he’s also given the task of following Louis around and helping him make sure that everything is set and ready for the wedding.

So he spends the next few days at Lou’s beck and call, following him for cake testing appointments and meetings with the wedding planner and the florist and the caterer. Elle’s apparently busy sitting for exams, so she isn’t free to do any of these until the last week before the wedding.

The fact that she trusts Louis to take care of all this really must mean that she’s the one for him.

Louis is off on a short trip to visit Elle in Manchester, so Zayn’s left to his own devices. Since he stuck around, he decides to go visit Niall on a whim, using the excuse that he’s just following up and making sure that Niall’s not delaying things.

The dog is still seated in the same place that he was before, but Harley apparently doesn’t sense a threat this time round, and he lets Zayn walk through to the porch. He even leans in to Zayn’s touch when he reaches down and scratches the dog’s ears.

Zayn takes a deep breath before he knocks on the door, hoping that today’s meeting won’t end in a screaming match like it did the last time. He knocks, but while he’s waiting he itches to just open the door and stroll in to see how much of the house has changed.

He’s surprised though that when the door finally opens, it isn’t the blonde-haired Irish man that’s on the other side. No, instead it’s someone with familiar green eyes that Zayn never thought he’d see again so soon.

“Harry?”

Zayn’s greeted with a wide dimpled grin that’s threatening to split his face, before Harry steps out and wraps his arms around Zayn.

“Zayn! It’s good to see you mate!”

Zayn pulls back and checks out how different Harry looks. He’s no longer got his soft curly hair that used to sweep to the side of his head. Now it’s so long it’s been pulled back into a bun, much like the look that Zayn had only a few months ago. He’s a lot more built as well, and Zayn can see his defined arms underneath the long sleeves of his shirt. He’s still got a penchant for skinny jeans, with rips over his knees as Harry has always been accustomed to.

Out of all of them, Zayn always thought that Harry would the one who’d be suited for the modelling world. He had a great presence around him, that star quality that always made him stand out in their group of friends. If Niall was known for his outgoing personality, Harry was definitely the one who’d catch everyone’s attention when he walked into a room.

“Uh, Niall’s not here at the moment.” Harry says, breaking through Zayn’s thoughts. “I’d invite you in but…not sure that’d be a good idea seeing as it’s his house and all…”

Zayn gets a flash of annoyance, wanting to argue that technically it’s _his_ house too because _his_ name is on the deed as well. That’s why Zayn was confident that Niall was still living here, because he never got a call to say that he was selling the place.

“Yeah, it’s okay…I just wanted to see if he had something for me.”

Harry’s face goes tense, and Zayn knows that he knows what he’s talking about.

“He’s not around today, not too sure when he’d be back.”

“Yeah that’s fine…”

It’s definitely awkward in a way that it wasn’t with Louis. It’s not that Zayn didn’t consider Harry as one of his best friends, because he did.

But just like Louis and Zayn were partners in crime, Niall and Harry were always closer to each other than they were to the rest of the boys.

Which is why eventhough Zayn’s curious to ask a dozen questions to find out how Harry’s been after all these years, he still feels like there’s a wall between them. Because Harry’s the kind of friend who’s loyal to the bone in a very subtle way.

So if their friends had to choose sides, Harry would be by Niall’s in a heartbeat.

He doesn’t really know what to do, and it’s ironic because it’s usually Harry who’s good at diffusing tense situations.

But right now he’s just standing in front of Zayn with a blank expression that leaves a bitter taste in Zayn’s mouth.

“Alright then, I’m just…gonna go now? Yeah, um…see ya later Haz.”

The nickname slips out before he can take it back and he quickly turns to leave as he hears Harry letting out a sigh behind him. Zayn’s only just taken a few steps away when he feels Harry’s hand come down on his shoulder.

“What are your plans for today?”

Zayn looks down as he rubs the back of his neck. “Nothing really. Was actually thinking of looking for Caroline. Heard she’s still in town.”

The smile is back on Harry’s face in full force and Zayn feels momentarily blinded by the change in his attitude.

“That’s awesome! Can I come with?”

It feels like an olive branch, and Zayn can’t help but nod his head because he’s willing to take whatever he can get.

Zayn waits outside while Harry goes back into the house to grab a coat, and that little bit of annoyance creeps back in about how he’s not allowed in his own house, even if he hasn’t been living in it over the last 6 years.

The drive back into town is a little tense and a whole lotta awkward. They’ve stopped at a red light, and Harry’s fiddling with the radio stations and Zayn feels like he’s going crazy.

“This is really fucking awkward isn’t it?”

He meets Harry’s eyes and the two of them burst out laughing, a little bit of the awkwardness seeping out of the car.

“Mate, I was waiting for you to say something!”

“I was waiting for _you_ to say something!”

And somehow, just like that, everything settles between the two of them. Harry’s clutching his stomach and Zayn’s had to pull over because he’s laughing so hard too. They go on for about ten minutes, until the both of them are wiping away the tears that are spilling from the edges of their eyes.

“What a mess we are, eh?” Zayn tells him.

Harry stretches his arm out to rest on Zayn’s shoulder, his fingers pressing down in a tight grip.  “It really is good to see you, Zayn.”

The tension is broken for the rest of their ride, and Zayn finds out an amazing detail that Louis seemed to have left out about Harry.

“Yeah, I’m doing my PhD now.”

Zayn’s eyes almost bulge out from amazement when he first hears it, but underneath it all, there’s only one thing he feels that’s important above all.

He’s incredibly proud.

Harry tells him about how he’s pretty much been studying nonstop ever since he left school, finishing up his degree in London and continuing his Masters in Birmingham before starting on his PhD. Apparently Harry’s become quite the academic in Psychology and Sociology.

“So, where am I supposed to go?” Zayn asks once they get into town.

Harry directs him through the streets until they reach the familiar old fish market area, that’s now been refurbished to house trendy new shops.

“Are you serious?” He asks, when Harry asks him to park outside what looks like a boutique.

Harry laughs and gives him a shrug as he gets out of the car, and Zayn follows after him in a state of disbelief.

Zayn stares up at the sign that’s hanging above the chic white facade, _House of Watson_ , and feels a lump forming in his throat.

His legs move on their own accord and follow Harry in, and the minute he steps into the shop he can’t help looking around in wonder. It’s a cute little boutique with an array of clothes for women, men, and even children. He sees brands like Topshop and YSL and Chanel on scented cloth hangers and Michael Kors and Louis Vuitton bags showcased behind a glass showcase in a pretty line.

“CAROLINEEEE!” Harry calls out the minute he enters, walking through the store with a familiarity that Zayn envies.

He hears someone reply from the back, and his heart starts beating faster in excitement as he waits to see one of his closest friends in the world.

Caroline walks out a few minutes later, wearing a comfy looking oversized sweater, black leggings, knee high boots, and a large floppy hat over her long wavy hair. She looks absolutely gorgeous, and Zayn can’t help thinking that she’d really fit in with London’s fashion scene.

She’s also got the added accessory of Harry’s hands covering her eyes, as he carefully guides her from behind the counter to stand in front of Zayn.

“Harry, what are you doing?! Get your filthy fingers off my face!”

Harry rolls his eyes before slowly lowering his hands, and Zayn suddenly feels unsure about how she’s going to react to him. It’s something he’s been feeling ever since he’s come back to Abbottsford, from meeting Louis to Harry to just about anyone else he recognises.

The thing is, if there’s any awkwardness with Caroline, the way he had with Harry and Louis, he’d be absolutely devastated. He loves Caroline as much as he loves his own sisters, and he’d hate if their relationship was ruined because of the years between them. Eventhough he knows it’s his fault.

Turns out, his worries are unnecessary. The minute Caroline spots him, her eyes widen in surprise before she squeals and throws her arms around his neck, practically jumping into his embrace.

“ZAYN!”

He laughs as she latches onto him, and he holds tight and gives them both a little twirl.

“I can’t bloody believe it!” She turns to Harry when Zayn lets her down, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. “How long have you known about this?”

Harry raises his arms up and shakes his head. “I knew nothing! He literally popped up a couple of days ago!”

“That’s a couple days too late, love.” She rolls her eyes at him before giving him a playful slap on the arm.

“Ow!”Harry frowns at her while rubbing his arm. “I only saw him today too!”

She turns back to Zayn, and this time her eyes are full of something warm and it feels a lot like affection. “I’m so glad to see you babe.”

“Me too, Caz.” Zayn replies, before wrapping her up in another hug.

“So what are you doing here? Oh! Are you here for the wedding?” Caroline asks him, her voice tinged with a little bit of hope and uncertainty.

Ever since he’s decided to stay, everyone has immediately assumed that he’s here for the wedding, especially since they’ve almost always seen him with Louis. It’s been easier to say yes, and a wave of guilt hits him in the chest each time someone praises him on coming back just for his best mate.

He doesn’t agree or deny when Caroline says it, but he’s aware of the fact that Harry’s tense next to him, and he tries his best to avoid his friend’s eyes.

Caroline gives them both weird looks, and Zayn knows she’s about to ask them about it but before she does, they’re interrupted by the distinct sound of a baby crying.

“Oh crap, gimme a minute, yeah?”

She disappears into the back of the shop, and this time it’s Zayn who’s got a questioning look on his face and Harry’s the one who’s avoiding his gaze.

It all becomes a little bit clearer when Caroline comes back out after a while, this time holding a precious little baby in her arms.

“Zayn, I’d like you to meet Brooke.” It’s a cute baby girl, with little chocolate curls on the top of her head and gorgeous round eyes that twinkle as they look up at him. “My little girl.” Caroline adds with so much love in her voice.

Zayn’s jaw literally drops open as he stares at the sight in front of him, unable to process it.

“What the f-“ Harry’s hand immediately covers Zayn’s mouth thankfully, and the rest of his sentences comes out muffled.

“Not in front of the baby!”

Caroline chuckles, and Zayn can’t help but hold his arms out in permission. She gives him a soft smile, before carefully placing Brooke in the crook of his elbow as Zayn cradles her head with his free hand.

Brooke stares up at him in fascination, her long lashes sweeping over her skin while she babbles in delight when Zayn traces his fingers over her tiny feet. “She’s absolutely gorgeous, Caz.”

“Thanks, love.” Caroline replies, resting her head against his shoulder as the two of them look down at the little girl in his arms. There’s so many things he wants to ask, but right now he’s not in a rush to find out.

A shutter goes off silently, and Zayn sees Harry with his phone. “It was too cute a moment to waste!”

Brooke starts fussing after a while, so Zayn passes her back to Caroline and follows them to the back of the shop so that she can do a nappy change. They enter the little room that Caroline says serves as her office slash Brooke’s baby room, with an desk on one side and a changing table on the other.

Zayn almost misses it, but when he turns his head round the room his eyes land on a gorgeous bassinette in the corner. He slowly walks over to it to take a closer look while Caroline sets her daughter on the changing table and grabs a fresh nappy.

“This is absolutely beautiful, Caz.” Zayn says as his fingers trail along the carved wood. It’s not extravagant, but there’s a beauty in its simplicity.

“Thanks babe, was a gift from Niall.”

Zayn freezes without meaning to, and he tries to keep the smile from slipping off his face.

“Yeah, it’s from this lovely furniture shop in Ardenvale. They do restoration and custom orders, it’s pretty cool.” Harry, who’s just walked into the room, adds a little too eagerly as if he’s trying to change the topic.

“So, how about we go grab some lunch?” He’s got a forced smile on his face, and Zayn finds himself mirroring it when he turns to look at Caroline, who’s already forgotten about the exchange and is busy dressing Brooke up.

Harry takes her away when Caroline finishes up and Zayn watches as he buckles the giggling bundled up baby into a bright red stroller. Harry looks like such a natural, but Zayn’s not surprised at all, he was always gentle and sensitive and a natural with babies. It’s just amazing watching him as he interacts with Brooke, his smile stretched wide as he takes the lead and pushes the stroller out of the shop.

Zayn hangs back and waits as Caroline locks up, and suddenly he’s struck by how much they’ve all grown up.

 “This is…really great, like. I’m so happy for ya.”

Caroline ducks her head down, smiling shyly as Zayn draws her in for a hug. Harry, not wanting to miss out, walks back and wraps a gangly arm around the two of them that’s long enough to pull them in tight.

Wrapped up close with two of his oldest friends, it’s starting to feel a lot like Zayn’s… _home_.

~

“Where are you staying?” Caroline asks him over lunch.

“At the hotel over on Cartley Street?”

“Yeah, that’s a new one isn’t it? Looks really nice from the outside.” Harry says in between bites of his club sandwich.

Harry and Zayn spend the next few minutes talking about the hotel when he realises that Caroline’s been keeping quiet and looks like she’s deep in her thoughts.

“Caz?”

“Well…you’re staying here until Lou’s wedding, yeah?” Zayn nods slowly, while he coos and makes faces to Brooke. “Why don’t you crash at mine? There’s enough space…and it’ll save you a lot of money.”

Zayn’s taken aback by her offer, and he must show it on his face because Caroline looks sheepish and a little embarrassed.

“I mean, it’s a little bit of a mess with Brooke and all, but I’ve got a spare room that hasn’t been converted into her nursery yet so you’re more than welcome to stay.”

She looks uncertain, and to be honest Zayn is as well, because it’s been great catching up and all that but there’s a part of him that isn’t sure how long this will last before the ball drops and everyone realises how much time has passed and that they’re not in high school anymore.

Caroline must sense his hesitation, because she puts her hand over his and squeezes it comfortingly. “Hey, it was just a suggestion, you don’t have to say yes.”

“Yeah, I mean Caz will probably rope you in for babysitting duties so you’re better off at the hotel.” Harry chimes in.

“Oi! How dare ya!” Caroline chides, and the two of them bicker back and forth.

It hits him then that it’s probably this – he’s missed this friendly camaraderie so much. He hasn’t found a group of friends like this since he left, not when he moved to London and not when he moved to LA. He spends so much time keeping to himself that no one really knows how to read him like Caroline just did.

“You know, I don’t think I’d mind the babysitting much.”

Caroline reaches for him and slips her hand into his again, and smiles like he’s just done her a favour, though Zayn knows it’s probably the other way round.

“Right, that’s great! We can just check you out after lunch!” Harry adds giddily.

The rest of lunch flies by in a perfect daze. Zayn gets preoccupied playing with Brooke who’s sitting on his lap, while Harry and Caroline talk about the shop and fill Zayn in on their lives.

Zayn learns that Caroline spent some time in France, working at a designer boutique. She met Brooke’s dad there, but they were only together for a few months, and she found out she was pregnant after they split. He’s still in their lives though, and Caroline’s happy with that. She moved back to raise her little girl, and decided to open the boutique about a year ago.

Business has been going well, she tells him, since she stocks exclusive items and also does the personal shopping for many of the county’s rich bachelors and families. It’s good, she’s happy, and suddenly Zayn thinks that maybe it’s a good thing that she didn’t end up in London after all.

“So how’d you start the boutique anyway?” Zayn asks her, because that’s one thing they haven’t talked about yet.

“Well, it was just an idea at first, but it was all because of Niall really –“

“YES! What a great idea it was, and look how well that turned out!” Harry says loudly while his hands land on Caroline’s shoulder and almost topples Brooke’s sippy cup in the process.

Caroline’s looking at Harry weirdly, who in turn is looking back at her with a wild expression on his face and looks like he’s trying to tell her something with his eyes.

“What is wrong with you Haz?”

“You know I’m not going to like, run out the door when someone says his name, yeah?” Zayn says, because while it’s a little uncomfortable, he knows he can’t get away from Niall, especially not in a town like this.

“No, no, no – I just think Cazza shouldn’t be so humble you know, she’s done such a great job with the shop. Anyway! We should probably get the bill and go check out before you’re charged for an extra day yeah?”

It’s puzzling, even for Harry, and from the way Caroline’s frowning up at him, he’s glad to know he isn’t the only one feeling confused.

They’re out of the restaurant in 10 minutes, bidding goodbye to Caroline and Brooke and making their way back to Zayn’s hotel. Harry keeps a steady flow of chatter throughout the ride and when they get there, he manages to talk the manager into letting Zayn pay only half of his room’s rates for the day eventhough he missed out on the check-out time.

“God, I can’t believe people still fall for your charms.”

“It’s my dimples. And I try to make them feel safe when they look into my eyes.” Harry deadpans.

Zayn rolls his eyes and punches him in the arm just because. “Asshole.”

Harry’s chuckles echo throughout the corridor as Zayn closes the door behind them.

~

For all his worrying, Zayn doesn’t actually see Niall much. It’s been just over a week since he first arrived, and he hasn’t bumped into him anywhere. Louis, Caroline and Harry don’t mention him, though his name does slip into their conversation every now and again.

Although there was that time when Harry comes into the shop while Zayn’s chatting with Caroline and says in a rush, “Niall asked me to tell you that his lawyer is on holiday so it’ll take a while for him to sign the papers. Okay, gotta go, bye!” and promptly runs out the door.

He gets a little annoyed when he hears that, because there’s still a part of him that wonders whether there’s some sort of ruse that’s going to end up with him going back with unsigned papers.

The thing is he isn’t sure why Niall _wouldn’t_ divorce him. It’s been so long since they’ve been together, and he hasn’t shown any sort of interest in getting back together with Zayn, so there’s no reason why they shouldn’t go through with it.

So he’s confident that Niall will stick to his word. And if that means that he has to wait for another couple of weeks then…he’ll just have to wait.

Though there’s a part of him that’s curious to know everything about Niall. He doesn’t bring it up with Louis, because he knows that Lou is just as loyal to Niall as he is to Zayn. He’s tried to subtlely ask Harry, but the other lad changes the topic so quickly that Zayn can’t help but go along with it.

Caroline though, she sees right through his indirect digging. She just gives him a knowing smile, sad and almost pitiful, and tells him to talk to Niall straight up, and that just ends up making him feel pathetic.

On the other hand, he loves staying with Caroline. It feels good waking up in the morning and sitting in her kitchen with Brooke bouncing in his lap as Caroline makes them all breakfast. It feels domestic, in an odd way, mostly because he enjoys these little moments that he spends with them.

Louis still isn’t back from visiting Elle, so Zayn busies himself with playing babysitter and being a parttime salesperson at the _House of Watson._ He’s surprised by the amount of people who recognise him, and traffic to the shop increases immediately much to his embarrassment.

“I swear, he brings more customers than you do.” Caroline teases Harry about it one evening while they’re closing up the boutique for the day.

“Heyyyyyy, that’s not fair.” Brooke chuckles at her Uncle Harry, who’s sporting a childish pout on his face.

Harry spends almost all his time in Abbottsford despite the fact that his PhD is based in Sheffield University. According to Caroline, he’s in the final stages of his thesis, so he’s been helping her a lot because he has a lot of free time. It’s been nice having him around, and Zayn appreciates that they can still get along despite the way that things are between Niall and him.

Zayn’s in the middle of a nappy change (he’s surprisingly very good and very quick about it) and making weird faces at Brooke trying to make her laugh when the front bell chimes and a loud voice carries through the shop.

“Guess who’s back, peasants!”

Zayn carefully lifts Brooke up and walks out to find Louis prattling on in the middle of the shop while Harry and Caroline ignore him.

“Well, this feels like a warm welcome. Oi! Zayners! Went to look for ya at the hotel and they told me you checked out?”

“Guess my plan of losing your tail didn’t work then.”

Right on cue, Brooke lets out a little snort.

“Oh, so you’re on his side now are ya? Saw them sharp cheekbones and decided you like him more than Uncle Tommo?”

Louis walks up to them and stretches his hands out to Brooke to see if she’ll lean into them. She doesn’t, much to Lou’s dismay, and cuddles up closer to Zayn instead. Louis gasps and pretends to bite her tiny hands in disgust.

“I thought you were coming back tomorrow?” Harry asks.

“Nah, Elle has an exam that she’s got to study for, so I thought I might as well drive back since I obviously won’t be getting shagged tonight.”

“LOUIS!!”

“Relax, she doesn’t know what that means, do ya love?” Lou coos at Brooke. “Anyway, I’m fuckin’-“

“LOU!!!”

He rolls his eyes as Caroline whacks him on his head. “I am _extremely_ hungry and could absolutely smash a pub grub right now. Everyone in?”

There’s really no point in denying Louis, and he whisks them all off in the direction of the local pub. They crowd into a booth, and slowly more people that they know come in and join them.

There’s Ashton, another one of their classmates who Zayn’s surprised to find out has become a dad and owns his own butcher’s shop now. Then there’s Jade who’s been in London for a few years trying to make it as a singer. Even Danny, who Zayn had a crush on for a bit back in school comes by and says hi.

They’re all chattering away, and it’s amusing to Zayn that they used to do the same thing 10 years ago while in school. Except then they’d be complaining about their teachers and exchanging the latest gossip while now they’re talking about grownup stuff.

Though there’s still a _fair_ bit of gossiping going on.

It’s easy to get lost in the flow of the conversation, but it’s still obvious to Zayn that there’s something missing.

Or more like… _a person._

Louis is in the middle of an animated story, using his whole body and hands gesturing out that keeps everyone’s attention on him. He’s always been like this, been able to command the attention of everyone in the room.

Zayn’s feeling a little tired, so he’s not as into it as the others are. Maybe that’s why he‘s easily distracted when the bell above the door rings and he notices the person that walks in the pub. He feels his heart stop, and then everything just melts away as it starts beating again loudly in his ear.

Niall’s shaking the rain from his hair as he removes his military green jacket and hangs it on the peg by the door. Zayn stares at the way his white Henley hugs his frame and how his blue jeans show just how skinny his legs are.

Niall’s hair falls flat even after he runs his fingers through it, and in the dim lights of the pub Zayn feels like he’s staring at his 18 year old boyfriend again.

Niall doesn’t notice that they’re all sitting there in the booth. Instead he gets behind the counter and gives Hanna, the pub owner, a hug and kiss on the cheek as he slides behind her to grab a mug and fills it with a teabag and hot water.

Zayn knows he’s staring, and doing a very obvious job of it, and he’s just about to tear his gaze back to the table when he catches a glimpse of a faint outline of a necklace under the thin material of Niall’s shirt.

It’s a long chain, but what’s really gotten Zayn’s attention is what’s hanging from it. Because it looks oddly like…

_A ring._

He feels the breath knocked out his lungs, and can hear his heart beating in his chest. He can’t be sure, doesn’t know if it’s the same gold ring that he placed on Niall’s finger on that warm Vegas night 8 years ago.  

His own identical band is in a box in his parents’ house, where he dropped it off before he left for LA, keeping things that he was too afraid to lose in their garage for safekeeping.

Louis is still in the middle of his story, but Harry seems to have noticed that Niall’s come in and he gets up to greet him. Zayn watches as he walks across and puts his arm around Niall’s shoulders, and gestures back to the booth.

Zayn looks away quickly so that Niall doesn’t catch him staring, and tries to take a few minutes to compose himself in case Harry brings him back to their table.

He bores holes into the side of Louis’s head though he’s still not paying any attention to what the other lad is saying. The minutes pass like hours and there’s no sign of Harry and Niall at all.

He can’t resist the temptation and looks back to where the two of them are still standing at the bar. Niall looks tense, from the way his shoulders are squared and he’s decidedly staring at the counter instead of Harry, who looks like he’s trying to convince Niall to join their table.

“Oi! Nialler! When did ya come in, mate? What are ya sitting there for? Come join us!”

Louis on the other hand, has never known how to be _subtle_.

Niall glances back, his eyes catching Zayn’s briefly before they turn to Louis, but he just shakes his head and waves them off, turning his attention back to his tea.

Louis and the rest of the gang keep egging him to come over, though Caroline tries to play peacemaker and tells them to leave Niall alone if he doesn’t want to join them.

But then Niall turns again and meets Zayn’s eyes, and he really doesn’t want to be the spoilsport who ruins the night and separates their friends just because the two of them can’t get along. So he gives Niall a slight nod and shrugs his shoulders.

Harry catches the exchange and takes that as an opportunity to grab Niall’s mug from his hands and drags him to their booth. Niall follows reluctantly, and Zayn tries his best to act calm and ignore the new addition to their table.

Louis slides closer to Zayn to make room for Niall, and he swings his arm around his shoulders, giving Zayn a quick squeeze before launching into another story.

It’s obvious that everyone’s aware of the tension, but no one’s saying anything. But the more time that passes and Louis keeps everyone’s attention on him, the more that things become less tense.

Zayn starts feeling comfortable enough to participate in the conversation after a while, that’s now steered to old stories from their Westcliffe days. They’re all laughing about a particularly embarrassing story involving Harry and his unsuccessful attempts to seduce their English teacher Ms Flack.

“Didn’t someone write “Mrs Caroline Styles” on the board one day before class?” Caroline asks, completely horrified.

“I think that someone’s name ends with Tomlinson.” Niall adds, much to Louis’s dismay.

“Oi! How dare you accuse me of such a thing?”

It’s been a well-kept secret that it was Louis who decided to give Harry a little bit of help in his pursuing. Though…not anymore.

“LOUIS! WAS THAT YOU??” Harry shouts, almost toppling over the pint in front of him.

“It’s all lies, Hazza! I had no part in it!”

“You asked me to stand guard outside the classroom to make sure no one would come in!” Zayn adds, the memory coming back to him clearly.

“Zayn, you’re getting your facts wrong, I swear.” It’s really a testament to Louis by how long he’s willing to keep this charade up. He’s always been stubborn.

“No, no, no. Zayn was supposed to meet me for lunch and he stood me up because of you.” Niall supplies, and Zayn feels the heat rising up his cheeks at the mention of their relationship.

“Yeah, and you didn’t even let me see what you were doing. Just dragged me away after you were done and you had chalk all over your hands and hair.”

“LOUIS WILLIAM TOMLINSON! MS FLACK MADE ME GO TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE BECAUSE OF THAT YOU IDIOT!” Harry practically launches himself at Louis, though he doesn’t do anything major other than slapping him over the head.

“Alright, alright. Fine. But it was a right laugh you’ve got to admit!” Louis says shamelessly, and ducks quickly from Harry’s hand that’s swatting at him again.

“Jeez, can’t believe you stabbed me back like that lads.” Louis mumbles while he rubs his head.

Next to him, Niall laughs and tells Louis that he had it coming for him.

And then his eyes shift to Zayn’s, and his face drops a little bit. But Zayn’s already had a couple of drinks and his friends are laughing all around him and he’s in such a good mood that he doesn’t really want to think of all the bad blood between the two of them.

Plus it just feels _wrong_ to see a frown on Niall’s face.

So he flashes him a smile, tipping his bottle towards Niall before taking a sip.

His heart definitely skips a beat when Niall gives him a blinding smile in return.

~

 “The last I heard, they’re finalising the director, so the waiting game’s started.”

“That’s great Simon.”

“How are things on your side?”

It’s the first time that he’s spoken to Simon since he’s returned to London, and he’s beginning to regret making the call to check in with his agent so early in the morning before he’s had his coffee.

Zayn pauses, not sure what to say. “Yeah, it’s all good.”

He knows he’s been lenient with Niall, because he came to Abbottsford with the sole focus to get the papers signed and get out of here. But it’s been three weeks, and now he’s drawn into life here and really enjoying spending time with his friends again.

“You’ve got another couple of weeks, Zayn. We need you back here to start making appearances.”

Zayn says okay and hangs up the phone, wanting to stay in denial for a little bit longer. He walks into Lydia’s Café, one of the newer coffee places in town.

He’s busy looking at his phone so he doesn’t look where he’s going, and ends up bumping into someone as he walks to the counter.

“Shit, sorry mate.”

Surprisingly, it’s the scent that hits him first instead of the voice. That familiar woody and musky smell that he’s always associated with Niall.

He’s wearing a black and white striped shirt and jeans that hang low on his hips, and a paper boy hat on his head that makes him look quite adorable.

“Nice hat.”

It slips out before he realises, and Zayn feels a little mortified. But then Niall’s chuckling softly, his cheeks turning the right shade of red that it usually does when he’s embarrassed.

It _does_ turn a little awkward because they don’t say anything, and Niall’s already gotten his coffee so they’re just standing there in front of the counter.

Zayn’s the first to break eye contact, and he sidesteps around Niall to get to the counter so he can order his coffee and get out of here. He tenses up, and he doesn’t turn to check if Niall’s left. He’s just finished paying when he hears someone clearing their throat and he realises that no, apparently Niall’s still hanging around.

“Zayn, I wanted to talk to you about something actually. I don’t know if now’s the best time…”

He can see how nervous Niall is, from the way his feet are fidgeting and he can’t keep his hands still.

Zayn thinks, _this is it, they’re finally going to talk about it_ , and he can’t stop the way his heart is hammering in his chest.

“I promised I wouldn’t meddle but…I was wondering if you knew that Caroline’s having Brooke’s christening after the wedding?”

Zayn’s tension turns to confusion, because he definitely didn’t think this conversation was going down that road.

“I think she mentioned it, yeah.”

“It’s just…” Niall removes his hat, revealing his messy blonde locks underneath and Zayn itches to run his fingers through the hair to smoothen them out. “You and Caroline always used to joke about it, yeah? Being the godparents of each other’s children?”

Zayn nods, remembers all too well the pact they made when they were just kids.

“Yeah well…look, she used to talk about how much she missed you, when she was pregnant. And I know she’s too shy to bring it up with you. She’s been planning it for a while, and she’s afraid to ask ‘cause she doesn’t want you to think she chose you just because you’re famous now.”

“What!? She’s being ridiculous. Why would she think that?”

Niall shrugs, but deep down Zayn knows the reason why.

“Just…talk to her, yeah? I think it’d mean a lot to her, especially if it comes from you.”

Zayn nods absently, distracted with the barista handing him his order and his mind currently lost in thoughts of Caroline and baby Brooke.

By the time he clears his head and turns to tell Niall thanks, the other lad is gone.

~

“Caz, can I talk to you for a minute?”

It’s been a few hours since she and Brooke came home, both of them tired after their fun-filled girls’ day out and Zayn happily took over baby duties the minute they entered. He gave Brooke a bath while Caroline caught up with some emails and then heated up some of his takeaway from lunch for the two of them while she put Brooke to sleep.

They’re lounging on the sofa, both comfortable and in their jammies when Zayn decides to bring it up.

“Hmm?” She mumbles, barely looking up at him from where her nose is buried in the latest issue of Vogue.

“It’s just…you know I’m not going to disappear, yeah?”

She looks up now, a confused expression on her face. “What?”

“I mean, after the wedding…I’m not going to go back to LA and forget about everyone. I’m gonna keep in touch.”

A smile creeps up on her face, tired and small, but still so affectionate that Zayn’s heart feels full at the sight. “I know, babe.”

She goes back to reading her magazine, but Zayn knows that she doesn’t _get_ it.

“I met Niall this morning.” _That_ gets her attention again, and Zayn smirks at the way she tries to hide how interested she is. “He mentioned something about Brooke’s christening?”

“Oh God, that Niall! Always loves being nosey doesn’t he?” Zayn knows she’s trying to deflect, but he isn’t going to let her get her way.

“Cazza…” Zayn reaches over the sofa to take her hand in his, “You know you could talk to me about anything, yeah?”

Caroline sits up, squeezing his hand earnestly. “Zayn, of course, I – it just wouldn’t feel right if you weren’t, you know?”

“I know I haven’t been round for long but…I love Brookie to bits babe, and honestly it would be such an honour if I could be her godfather.”

“You’re joking? Really?”

“Of course! Stop being ridiculous, I can’t believe you’d think I didn’t want to!

She chuckles, hiding her face in Zayn’s shoulders. “I know, I know. I’ve had enough of Niall telling me off that I was being ridiculous.”

Zayn’s breath hitches, curiosity seeping into his voice. “What did he say?”

“Said you’d be fighting to be Brooke’s godfather even if you hadn’t met her. That you’d never forgive me if I chose Harry and not you.”

“He’s right, though I think Harry’s proven that he’d be great at it.”

Caroline smiles. “Well, it’s actually going to be Haz and Niall…and now you.”

“Anyone will have a hard time trying to get to Brooke because she’s got three tough uncles to get through first.”

“Well she’s a very lucky girl.”

“Not too sure about that. She’ll have Harry embarrassing her at all her school events. He’ll have half the school and the teachers in love with him!”

Caroline cackles loudly, which ends up waking up Brooke, and Zayn starts early on his godfather duties by going to check up on her.

Holding her in his arms, Zayn can’t help but replay the conversation he had with Niall earlier in the day and Caroline’s comments just now, and there’s a warmth that spreads through his chest that these people still have faith in him.

It makes him feel content with himself after a very long time.

~

He realises, when there’s about two weeks until Louis’s wedding, that he needs to get them a present. He contemplates making a trip down to London, because as much as Abbottsford has become more metropolitan, he knows that there’s probably not a lot of options here.

But then he remembers Brooke’s bassinette down in the shop, how impressive it’s intricately been designed and he wonders whether he can get something similar. He knows that Louis and Elle have already bought a house in Manchester that they’re planning to move into after the wedding, so it’d be the perfect gift for their place.

He’s not sure what the name of this shop is, especially since Caroline just said that it was a gift from Niall, but all Zayn remembers is Harry mentioning that it’s handmade from a shop in Ardenvale.

So he types “handmade wooden furniture ardenvale” into Google, and while he waits for the search he opens another tab to check his emails. There’s a few that he’s got to answer immediately, so he completely forgets what he got on to do in the first place.

He’s a little confused when he comes back to the first tab, because something stands out from the first couple of links.

_…Niall Horan…_

He clicks on one of it in a daze, and his mind is in a whirl of confusion as he tries to make sense of the article he’s opened up.

_Niall Horan, an Irish native who’s been living in Abbottsford ever since he was a young lad studying at the prestigious Westcliffe Academy, is one of the rising stars in the furniture design business._

Zayn’s mind goes blank as he continues reading.

_What started as a small venture into restoring furniture for the locals in his town, Niall soon expanded to made-to-order furniture right out of his modest home in Abbottsford. Now, three years later, HM Designs has grown into an established name that has big names like David Beckham, Stella McCartney and many other English celebrities commissioning him for a piece for their home._

_“I think it’s because of the exclusivity, each piece is made from a tree that I personally handpick, and I discuss with my clients about what they’re looking for and I’ll design it accordingly so that it’ll fit perfectly in their home.” Niall says._

_So how did he end up doing this for a living?_

_“Well I was always good with me hands,” he says with a sheepish grin, his Irish accent coming out thickly, “I was looking for a bit of extra income actually, and Mr Todds, who owned the pub I was  working for at the time wanted his tables restored and I took that opportunity. I did a little as a child with me da’ but yeah, it was just a matter of learning as I went along.”_

_These days Niall leaves the restoring to a special team that he’s employed to ensure the best quality, and only takes on projects that particularly interest him._

_His success is evident in his newly opened store right on the high street in the bustling town of Ardenvale, just a stone’s throw from his base in Abbottsford. It features an array of restored vintage furniture and samples of pieces that customers can order custom made._

_So what is it that makes him so unique?_

_“I think it’s the simplicity. I’m not really a fancy guy, and all my pieces are built to be practical and longstanding.”_

_Niall certainly has the right idea. His dining chairs can go up to £500 a piece, but if there’s anything his testimonials go by, is that anything from HM Designs is definitely worth every cent._

Zayn feels like he’s going through some sort of out of body experience, as he goes back to the first page and clicks through all the articles, every single one of them detailing on how successful Niall’s become with his business.

How did no one mention this to him? Or more importantly, _why_ were they keeping this from him?

Zayn feels betrayed, and disappointed, and confused. But most of all…surprised.

He clicks on HM Designs official website and stares at the picture of Niall on their front page. From what he’s read, Niall’s had the business for about three years now.

But there’s a part of him that thinks…all it would have taken him was a quick Google search on Niall’s name and he would have found out about this. Did Niall assume that Zayn knew about it? Is that why he didn’t tell him?

_“The pub not paying you enough? Want to see if you can get money from me or summat?”_

Zayn cringes as he recalls that first day when he accused Niall of wanting his money.

It’s clear now that Niall obviously doesn’t.

Zayn’s always hated himself for wanting something bigger than this town because it meant he chose his dreams over Niall. And all this time Zayn’s tried to convince himself that he made the right decision leaving because Niall was happy just working at the pub and staying in Abbottsford.

Now? He doesn’t know what to feel.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I’ve written that Zayn was cast in a drama called East vs West. This title was very very loosely inspired by an Australian show called East West 101. I wanted to use the lead character (played by hottie Don Hany) to describe Zayn’s tv role for this fic, and I found out that Don Hany’s character in East West 101 is coincidentally named Zane Malik. WHAT? Anyway – totally accidental.


End file.
